Wednesday, February 10, 2010

How to Train your PUG: Part 3

How to train your PUG as a: DPS (Disposable and Probably Stupid)

Step 1. Go BEHIND the mob to DPS! This will save you from getting cleaved in the face, and the tank will appreciate it.

Step 2. Do not pull. As a tank, there is nothing that irritates me more than anyone pulling that is not me without explicit instructions. Hang back and let the massive, plate-clad warrior do his thing before throwing balls of fire at the mob's head.

Step 3. Since DPS are generally regarded as Disposable and Probably Stupid, you need to be even more firmly polite than a tank or healer when attempting to instruct your fellows. Not doing anything idiotic (see step 2) increases your chances of the group listening to you. Marginally. Oh, who am I kidding, there's about a 15% chance they are going to follow your instructions, a 5% chance that they will votekick you for speaking, and a 80% chance that they will simply ignore you and carry on. Hope springs eternal, though.

Step 4. Kindly whisper those that do stupid things. No matter how infuriating it is, unless they are another DPS, a private conversation will help keep the group from drama.

Step 5. Ask the tank if they want you to CC. I've been in charge of sheeping the Dark Adepts in the Forge of Souls since I started advertising my services.

Step 6. Be cheerful and mildly funny in party chat, if you can. If the other members feel some sort of bond with you, then the group is more likely to stick together after wipes and even for another instance! Even if you loathe them, try to keep the hate inside.

Step 7. Buff and rebuff. Throw out a fish feast if you have it. This will help the dungeon go by faster by compensating for poor player performance and may encourage other people to do the same.

Step 8. If you want to do an achievement, mention it before pulling the boss.

Step 9. Complimenting your healer is a wonderful thing that keeps your health bar nice and full. See, every healer has a priority list, and you want to be as close to the top as possible. Not dying=faster run=more loot.

Step 10. Ummm...

Anyways! See you tomorrow, and I'm going to talk about Love is in the Air (and the WoW holidays in general).

1 comment:

  1. "DPS (Disposable and Probably Stupid)" /snicker. Seriously though, people should be forced to read this.