It occured to me to make this handy guide to -hopefully- better PUGs. Without further ado, How to train your PUG as a: Tank!
From the get go, start sucking up to the healer. Compliment his/her skills, call him by his/her character name, do whatever you have to so that he/she will love you and feel needed. With the healer, you control the party absolutely.
Step two: Ask the healer if they're ok with a speed run, if you're going for that. Start your mass-pulling, if the DPS are idiots or the healer can't keep you up, sloooooow down.
Step three: Be polite, but firm, with the lovely breed of morons in your group.
ex: Forge of Souls, during the pulls with caster spread waaaay apart.
"DPS the skull so that you don't pull aggro off me."
"You didn't attack my target."
"lol i did"
"Then why did I have to chase after the -insert mob name here-?"
"bc ur a fail tank"
"Ok. Last warning, attack my target or I will let you die."
Noob ignores instructions, the healer that you've been whispering to doesn't heal him, and he dies.
"You didn't attack my target, so you died."
"lol u suck **** u"
Noob has left the party.
And all together, in Party chat!
And you thought I was gone? Pfffft. Nevah XD
PS: Ratty is back! Go look at Need More Rage now and go through the archives. Ratshag is a genius.
5 years ago